I know I'm updating a little late, I'm sorry. Between Sports Day on Sunday and my whole week I needed a little time before I could write anything. I had a great time at Sports Day and I loved seeing all the students so happy and it was nice to hang out with the teachers outside of class. I went out with the new JETs to see a movie and we went to the beer garden for it's last night of the season. I had a night off (my Sports Day enkai was canceled), so I spent some time reading at the top of Riverwalk, playing arcade games, and even getting a lucky 50% off coupon while shopping. It should have been a great week, but unfortunately this has been my worst week in Japan so far. I know I usually only post positive things on here as my experience has been overwhelming positive, but I want to take a bit of time today to talk about the not so great sides of living and working in Japan.
My new school is very small, which can be good and bad. Since I teach all the grades in the school, I am able to have a relationship with all of the students because I can see all of them almost every day and it's just easier to keep track of 200 students instead of the 550 at my other school. I know all the students first and last names, their clubs, and their English level. The downside can be that with such a tight-knit school community already in place, it can be hard to find where you fit into that. I've worked really hard to find my place with the JTEs and thought I had found my place in the school. I help with class, make the ALT boards, and really feel like a teacher there. I go to five out of six classes a day, which means only one break period for preparing materials and marking papers, but it's good to always be doing something! I got to chorus club after school and absolutely love working with those students and the teacher is always incredibly friendly. He's been traveling and even knows a little English. It was an uphill struggle when I first got to the school, but I thought I'd finally figured it all out.
I'd found my place among the students, teachers, and even office staff, but apparently I had not found my place with the upper administration. Leading up to Sports Day there were many meetings, all of which I was asked to leave for. The staff meetings are held in the staff room where my desk is. I'd never before been asked to leave any staff meetings at any school I've ever been to. They moved me to a break room in the back. It has a fridge and table and only connects to the staff room, so to get out I would have to cross back into the staff room to get to the hallway. They even left the door open between the two rooms so I could hear everything. I was pretty mad, but figured it was a one-off thing. I asked my teachers about it and they said at that school all the ALTs always left the room before staff meetings. I told them I would like to be included and they said that was fine.
A few days later there was another meetings that I was asked to leave for. My teachers were not in the room at the time, so when I was asked to leave, I said I wanted to stay for the meeting. I was told my Japanese was hard to understand and to move to the back room. I moved, but I was starting to get pretty mad.
Two days later I came to school at my normal time and walked into the staff room to sit at my desk only to find a morning meeting taking place. I went to my desk to put down my bag and the meeting was stopped and I was told to leave the room. I felt insulted and humiliated in front of the other teachers, so I left. I went to the room with all the copiers and colored paper and just didn't know what to do. I was torn between crying and screaming and just leaving and never looking back. Instead I thought about my first period class and how I was now unprepared. I had made an easy version of the game apples to apples to print out and play with the students because they'd been working so hard on sports day practice the teachers wanted to play a game with them that still reviewed their new vocabulary words. Unable to print (the computers and printers are in the staff room), I started cutting up red construction paper and writing the words on them. I kept my mind on the task at hand, making sure I was prepared for first class. I went to five classes that day and although it was so much fun playing games with the students and seeing them laugh at the different combinations of words, I never calmed down. By lunch I thought I would have felt better, but I didn't.
I had talked to both my JTEs (Japanese teachers of English) and both said it was uncomfortable for them, but they were unable to do anything because they were outranked. As frustrating as that answer is to me, I understand it's an important part of Japanese culture and I didn't want to ask them for more help than was appropriate. With that idea in mind I contacted the Kitakyushu Board of Education. I talked to my supervisor and told her what happened and she assured me she'd to everything she could to help, which was very reassuring.
I was pretty dejected and all I wanted to do was go home, but it was my last academic day at that school before English Speech Contest and I'd promised the three students participating I would work with them as I had been doing all week. It was nice to see the students and I think their speeches really progressed over my two weeks with them. Their English teacher also came in to watch them that day and thought they sounded good, as well. After working with the students I had already missed my first bus home and the next one wouldn't come until 6:17, so I went to catch the last hour of chorus club. It cheered me up a little to work with them and they were glad I had come. At the end of club the students and gather with the club teacher downstairs for quick feedback and to say goodbye for the day. The teacher is usually unable to actually go to the club, so normally I only see him at these goodbye meetings. This day was no different, I didn't see him until after the meeting. We usually talk for a few minutes after the meeting about what we'll do over the weekend or how the day was, but I was still so upset about the morning I just wanted to leave. Thankfully he stopped me before I could go and pulled out some note cards. He'd written down what he wanted to say in English and read it back to me. He didn't bring up the morning at all, but told me since the third year students have finished with clubs and now only focused on their high school entrance exams he was glad I was at club every day. He doesn't have to worry about the students because he knows I'm there helping them. He said thank you. I said it was no problem and headed out to my bus. At the bus stop I cried for all the nice things he'd said and for all the anger, hurt, and embarrassment I'd felt from that day.
This was a pretty extreme case, but being excluded is one of the most common complaints I've heard from ALTs around the country. Whether it's from JTEs not bringing you to class or the general atmosphere of 'you don't belong here' in a staff room. Every ALT at some point has felt excluded. As a foreigner living in Japan this will extend out into your daily life as well. My parents remember being in Kyoto at a restaurant and being put on a different floor from everyone else. When I went to a restaurant in Kokura with my friend Caol and his parents we were also sat away from everyone else behind a sliding door. At the time we always laugh about it, but after a year has gone by it gets harder and harder to laugh. Little thing begin to add up and to feel discriminated against by my own school community was very hurtful.
Thankfully I do have a great community here. The chorus teacher and other teachers stood by my side in small ways. My friends let me complain to them and Patrick let me play his video games at his apartment until well past either of our bed times. The Board of Education also came through for me. A phone call was made to the school and although I'm not sure exactly what was said, it helped. The vice principal apologized to me and I attended the next school meeting and made sure to pay very close attention. Despite these discouraging instances, I will continue to do everything I can to make the most of my experience here. I know this is a fairly negative post, but this is just one part of my experience here. Overall I still love Japan and am excited to continue teaching here. This was a tough week, but I did the best I could and I'm excited to move forward.
Saturday I mostly stayed in and cleaned. I could have gone out with some friends but I'm trying to save a little extra money for my Kobe trip coming up. Sunday I went into Fukuoka for a board game day! It was also my friend Jake's birthday, so we had a little cake for him and a few of us went out to dinner afterwards to celebrate. I played a whole bunch of new games including one called Rampage where you are a monster and you get to destroy buildings and eat people by dropping you monster token on little buildings and people. It was so much fun! We also played a deception game called Blood Bound where we all knew our own character, but no one else's. We had to figure out the ranks everyone else was, who was on our team, and who was the one neutral person and then try to capture the other teams leader. I ended up being a special character that acts like one team, but is secretly on the other one. I ended up not only interfering with an attack and saving my real teams leader, but I also captured the other teams leader winning the game for my team! It was a complicated game, but a lot of fun! I also tried a new Japanese game that was similar to Uno, but with more effect cards. All the cards ere worth point values and can be discarded or played for effects on the table in front of you. The only catch was that any card played had to match the color or number of the top of the discard pile, like in Uno. At the end of the game you count the number values of all the cards in your hand and on the table in front of you. If you are the first to lose all your cards, you get no points even if there are cards in front of you. The person with the least points after three rounds is the winner. I was in second place both the first two rounds, but ended up winning at the end of the game! It was a lot of fun! I also played some games I've played before like my favorite Betrayal at the House on the Hill and got to introduce some new people to a game called Takenoko. All in all it was a great time!
